Independence Is Not the Same as Doing Everything Alone
Penny’s first solo flight and the interdependence of independence, plus four links worth your time...
Penny flew solo for the first time on Saturday. Everything worked out easily and well. I was definitely teary as I watched her board the plane. She was definitely not! (Here are her thoughts about the flight.) She landed in Birmingham without a hitch and is now at Hope Heals Camp as a volunteer on her own. (We’ll join her there next week.)
The whole experience—not only her flying solo but also the massive support we received from family and friends and the online community and Delta itself and The Sensory Stores—prompted me to reflect on what just happened.
First of all, there was the outpouring of advice and support from fellow parents. We asked Chat GPT to take ALL these comments and distill them for us so that we can pass along what we learned to our fellow travelers (read all their advice here). Here’s the bottom line: Use every support available (gate passes, TSA Cares, disability assistance, and a pickup at the gate), and spend most of your preparation time planning for unexpected delays or cancellations rather than for the flight itself.
Second, there was the swag box that Delta sent Penny—um, wow! And, as Penny said, “Thank you, Delta!”
I could get cynical and interpret this gift as a good PR opportunity for the company because I happened to have a viral post about Penny’s upcoming flight. Or we could see it as an example of a deeper set of commitments. For the past few years, Delta has included people with disabilities in their marketing materials. Peter texted me in 2022 from a flight where a man with Down syndrome appeared in the safety video. Every time I wait in line to board a Delta flight, I see people with disabilities featured on the posters nearby.
I’ve read stories from other customers who have praised Delta for their posture of welcome and their assumptions of the competence and capabilities of individuals with disabilities. And they created the conditions for me to want to tell the story of a customer service agent who took the time to thank me and get excited that Penny was about to fly by herself. Not only that, I’ve had dozens of current and retired flight attendants reach out personally to reassure me not only about Penny’s safety but also about how grateful they are that they get to do their jobs. No one required them to do that. And once we arrived at the airport, the care and concern—without being overbearing or patronizing—only continued.
I checked Delta’s website and found this statement:
Connect the world. Reflect the world. Respect the world.
As champions of connection, we bring people together, break down barriers, bridge divides and move the world forward. Delta actively values diversity, boldly pursues equity and consciously promotes inclusion. We’re committed to creating a world where everyone, everywhere can thrive.
So I’m back to saying, thank you, Delta, not just for the bags and the speaker and the portable charger and the Biscoff, but for believing that people with intellectual disabilities can and should travel. Thank you for including Penny in your vision of who deserves connection and respect.
Blessings,
Amy Julia
P.S. Keep reading for four links that are worth your time.
Upcoming Events:
Hope Heals Camp • July 20-24, 2026 {speaker}
Reimagining the Good Life {as Parents} • Nashville • January 14, 2027
Keynote and Lenten Quiet Day • Oklahoma City • March 4-5, 2027
Reimagining the Good Life Podcast
Love, Guilt, and Care: A Sibling’s Disability Story with Brian Trapp
S10 E9—When a kid grows up with a sibling with a disability, what defines their childhood? Author Brian Trapp reflects on life with his twin brother with cerebral palsy. He shares how his childhood was a source of unexpected gifts, deep connection, and lifelong formation. Brian and I discuss:
Limits of labels like “glass child” and “mental age”
Family and flourishing together
The complexity of identity
Sibling and caregiving relationships
Find this episode on:
Apple • Spotify • YouTube
4 Links Worth Your Time
Non-Fiction: The Affections of Christ Jesus: Love at the Heart of Paul’s Theology by Nijay K. Gupta
I don’t usually recommend theological books here, but I’m offering this one because it seems so important for us to see that the most important truth that runs through the whole Bible is the truth of God’s unending, neverfailing, faithful love. This book pulls that thread through Paul’s letters and demonstrates again the centrality of love to understanding Paul’s thought and understanding our own lives as God’s beloved.
Fiction: Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke
You are more likely to have heard of Yesteryear than The Affections of Christ Jesus, since it’s been on the NYT bestseller list for ten weeks already. I raced through this story of a trad-wife influencer who finds herself mysteriously transported to 1855, the year her farmhouse was built. That said, I wish that Caro Claire Burke, or her fictional character Natalie Heller Mills, had read The Affections of Christ Jesus, because Natalie is a supposedly devout Christian who doesn’t seem to know much at all about said affections (aka love) or about Jesus. Perhaps this is an essay for another time, but I find myself baffled, saddened, and angered these days by the number of people—fictional and in real life—who represent Christianity as a set of moral rules that boil down to judging the people who will never measure up to a religious standard of holiness or purity. So if you read Yesteryear, which I do recommend, just keep in mind that the Jesus who actually shows up on the pages of the Bible is the one who says, “Blessed are the poor in spirit…those who mourn…the meek…” Remember that the writers who followed in Jesus’ steps said things like, “The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love” and “Love never ends” and “Nothing can separate us from the love of God.”
Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership with Ruth Haley Barton: S29 Ep 9 | It’s Complicated: Sexuality, Love and Life in Our Families
I was blown away by the generosity of spirit both Ruth Haley Barton and Jonathan Merritt expressed in this conversation about sexuality and what it means to be human.
The Russell Moore Show: Daniel Nayeri AND Beth Moore on Everything Sad Becoming Untrue
And I also loved this conversation with Russell Moore and Beth Moore talking to Daniel Nayeri about his books, Everything Sad is Untrue and Teacher of Nomad Land.
What are you reading, watching, or listening to these days?
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Yaeaay Penny! Yay Delta! Happiness and joy!!!
It’s been a joy having her at camp this week! Sad to miss the whole Becker crew next week. Be well!