Belonging, Betrayal, and New Beginnings

When it's not all s'mores and sunshine at church camp {Plus 1 fun thing, 6 things worth your time, and 1 thing I'm pondering}

Apr 24, 2025

Roasted marshmallows, campfire stories, shaving cream battles—for some of us, Christian summer camp is where we felt most at home. But for campers at white Evangelical church camps in particular, camp was also often the place to inherit an image of God—and of each other—that was incomplete at best and toxic at worst. My friend and author Cara Meredith explores these tensions in her latest book, Church Camp: Bad Skits, Cry Night, and How White Evangelicalism Betrayed a Generation. She joined me on the podcast to talk through:

Personal experiences of church camp, including joy, exclusion, and betrayal
Complexities of faith and belonging
Emotional manipulation
Reconstructing faith
Deciding if church camp is right for your child

a graphic with screenshots of Cara Meredith and Amy Julia Becker on a split-screen video call. The book cover of Church Camp is near the middle of the graphic. Text below on a blue background says: Why I Haven't Sent My Kids to Church Camp; Reimagining the Good Life.

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What do we want to pass along to our kids?

Early on in her book, Cara describes herself as “the girl who once called church camp the greatest place on earth, who is now the woman who doesn't know if she can send her own kids there.” This statement prompted us to explore what we want to pass along to our children when it comes to matters of faith, and how we want to do that:

Faith Begins with Belonging
Cara wants her children to know that “they are loved beyond a shadow of a doubt by God for exactly who they are as they are.” It is a gift to our children to create a foundation of unconditional love and belonging, not rooted in fear or performance. In her words, “I want belonging that is built on nothing except for the simple fact that God loves them.”
There’s Room for Doubt
Rather than shielding her kids from questions, Cara embraces doubt as a vital part of a healthy, growing faith. She says, “They may have big doubts and questions, and yet that is also exactly what I want them to have.” Questions and uncertainty aren't failures of faith; they’re an essential part of forming a meaningful spiritual life.
The Sacredness of the Ordinary
Church camp is full of spectacular moments, but quiet rhythms of faith—receiving Communion, hearing a parent’s voice in worship—can be powerful spiritual moments. They affirm that deep faith is often formed not in emotional highs, but in everyday acts of love and presence. God is doing very ordinary work in our very ordinary lives.

I hope you’ll listen (or watch) and then share this episode with a friend. And I want to hear from you. Did you attend church camp as a kid? What was your experience? Just reply to this email or leave a comment. I read every response!

Amy Julia

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Join me in person on May 3 for the Reimagining Family Life with Disability workshop!

Walnut Hill Community Church - Bethel, CT
May 3, 2025, 9 a.m. - 12:30 p.m.

1 Fun Thing

collage of photos of Amy Julia's family and friends together for Easter

I’m definitely becoming one of those moms who treasures the (rare) times when our whole family is together. We only see William once or twice a week because he goes to boarding school about an hour away. Marilee will follow him there next fall, and Penny is thinking about a residential college program in the not-too-distant future. So I feel especially grateful and joyful on a weekend when we are all together, like this one, which included everything from teaching Sunday School with Penny to making whipped cream with Marilee to taking a walk with William to hosting two other families for Easter dinner.

Rich Villodas

pointed out on Substack this week, the season of Lent lasts 40 days, but the season of Easter (Eastertide) lasts 50. The celebration is longer than the preparation. The feast is longer than the fast. We started Eastertide with joy, and I am grateful.

6 Things Worth Your Time

Show: The Residence

This murder-mystery set in the White House is a great, quirky diversion from all things newsy and political, believe it or not. And then there’s a subtle message of hope for our politics in the final episode.

Novel: True Biz by Sara Novic

I enjoyed the story and learned a lot while reading this novel set in a boarding school for the Deaf. I didn’t know, for example, that ASL (American Sign Language) is exactly that: American Sign Language. In other words, Deaf members of other cultures have developed their own sign languages too. I’m kind of amazed by my ignorance about facts like this one, as well as the history of Deaf culture in the United States. The characters and plot are interesting and keep the book moving, but I also loved being invited into a different way of being in the world and learning so much.

Memoir: Rebecca Sue: A Sister’s Reflections on Disability, Faith, and Love by Kathleen Norris

As I wrote in my endorsement for this new memoir:

"Kathleen Norris has always written with embodied, honest, human faith. In Rebecca Sue, Norris brings her insight into the human condition to her relationship with her disabled younger sister. The result is an invitation for all readers to discover their own humanity and to glimpse the hidden hand of God in all things."

The Atlantic: The Biggest Surprise About Parenting With a Disability

When we see disability as "brokenness," we miss the ways it confounds our categories. Jessica Slice writes beautifully about how being disabled prepared her well for motherhood:

"I now believe that being disabled and learning from disability culture both prepared me for the challenges of early parenthood and ultimately set me up to be a more creative and flexible caregiver."

NYT: Were You Raised in a Church That Fears the World or Loves Its Neighbors?

I love the distinction David French makes between "fear-the world" churches and "love-your-neighbor" churches.

NYT: Americans Haven’t Found a Satisfying Alternative to Religion

As more and more researchers tell us that spirituality and religion are key to human flourishing, I'm wondering if (and hopeful that) churches will develop compelling ways to welcome the "nones":

"America’s secularization was an immense social transformation. Has it left us better off? People are unhappier than they’ve ever been and the country is in an epidemic of loneliness. It’s not just secularism that’s to blame, but those without religious affiliation in particular rank lower on key metrics of well-being. They feel less connected to others, less spiritually at peace and they experience less awe and gratitude regularly."

1 Thing I’m Pondering

One of the things Cara and I talk about in this podcast episode is an oversimplified version of Christianity. I’ve been reading through Exodus lately, and I’ve realized how often I think of God’s work in our lives through an oversimplified perspective. I think about the Israelites in Egypt, and then I skip ahead to the Promised Land. If I give any thought at all to their 40 years in the desert, I tend to think of those years as unfortunate. But those 40 years were the years of formation. They were the years of depending on God for manna in the desert, of forming a social order, of receiving the law that would guide them into life, of seeing God’s glory. Those years were intentional and good. So much of our lives here on earth are years in the wilderness, and we deceive ourselves—and disappoint ourselves—if we expect to skip from oppression to the promised land. I’ve been so grateful to think of the goodness and purpose embedded within even a time of wandering in the wilderness.

What about you?

What are you pondering, reading, watching, or listening to these days?

Reimagining the Good Life