You Don't Need to Be Afraid

Words from Penny that our souls long to hear, plus a window into what is good and hard about her life (and what I'm reading right now)

Oct 17, 2024

Peter is gently holding Penny’s hands as he makes the shape of a cross on her hands. He is leaning in slightly. Both are wearing light blue Hope Heals T-shirts. In the background, other people can be seen in a room with tables, creating a warm, communal atmosphere. The mood of the scene is caring and supportive.

“God is with you and for you.” That line comes directly from our time at Hope Heals Camp in the summer,1 when campers make the sign of the cross on one another’s hands and repeat those words.

“God is with you and for you” always brings me to tears because it speaks so simply and deeply to the truth our souls long to hear.

A collage of 3 photos: The first photo is black and white. Peter and Amy Julia are looking at each other and gently holding each other's hands as she makes the shape of a cross on his hands. In the middle photo, Katherine Wolf and Penny are looking down at each other's hands as Penny makes the shape of a cross on Katherine's hands. In the third photo, Penny is warmly hugging Katherine Wolf, who is sitting on a mobility device. — Hope Heals Camp | Penny with Katherine Wolf

I recently asked Penny, “What would you want a new parent of a child with Down syndrome to know?”

Penny said, “You may be afraid of not knowing what to do, but, in reality, you don’t need to be afraid... because God is with you and for you.”

I love that she carries those words with her and offers them to new parents.

A few weeks ago, I asked Penny to answer some questions related to Down Syndrome Awareness month.2 They give me a window into her thought process, and I love the truths she expresses about what is good and hard about her life:

Penny’s Thoughts on Down Syndrome Awareness Month

What would you want a new parent of a child with Down syndrome to know?

You may be afraid of not knowing what to do, but, in reality, you don’t need to be afraid.
If you are afraid you let your emotions overpower, but you don’t need to be afraid because God is with you and for you.
You may wonder why this is a gift, but it’s a gift because this child is special.
My parents specifically have thought, “She is a gift.” Also, did anyone know that there is a book out there called A Good and Perfect Gift? It’s all about me and my journey.
My brother and sister’s lives would not be the same without me. I think they feel connected to me more by supporting me in everything I do.

What would you want a parent of a teenager with Down syndrome to know?

Their life is in a good place and is special.
It may be harder to make friends. It may mean they need more time on schoolwork. Parents can support or help in these areas by taking their time explaining the process of each of the above areas.
They can support your hopes and dreams by encouraging you to try some new things that may be outside of their comfort zone.
They can support you by teaching their kids not to be overprotective so they can do the same.

What would you want teenagers who don’t have Down syndrome to know?

Act kindly to the person who has Down syndrome.
Accept them into your life even if you don’t want to. Other teenagers can do more to welcome you by letting the person with the disability join into the group or conversation.
They should know that you want to be included and your opinion matters.

What are some of the things that make your life good?

I have a good amount of friends.
I enjoy being a positive person and writing encouraging notes.
I care for others by being there for them within a hard time.
I enjoy spending time with my brother who we don’t see very often.

What are some things that make your life hard?

Changing plans.
Putting off watch parties for a while.
Not always being included, especially in conversations.
Stop and think before acting/reacting. I tend to skip the stop and think and act right away.

God is with you and for you.

One of my favorite nuggets of Penny’s words here is when she says, “God is with you and for you.”

So I will conclude this note with those words, and with hope and a prayer that the truth they contain might connect with the deepest part of who you are: “You don’t need to be afraid because God is with you and for you.”

Blessings,
Amy Julia

P.S. Keep scrolling for what I’m reading right now and my thoughts on parenting and mental health.

What I’m Reading

Two essays about abortion

Two things get lost in the midst of our political fights about abortion. One, that the ethics and the politics of abortion are not the same. And two, that when we only talk about the individual choices of individual women, we fail to see the collective decisions we are making about when, how, and whether to welcome life.

As I mentioned in a recent Instagram post, I do not agree with either of our major political parties when it comes to abortion, which means I am grateful for people who are writing and thinking about the ethics and not just the politics, as Emma Camp and Rosemarie Garland-Thomson both do in these essays:

Book: The Frozen River.

I haven’t quite finished this novel yet, but I think I can safely recommend it since I’ve been reading it in the middle of the night. It’s a murder mystery set in the 1700s, told from the perspective of a woman who serves as a midwife to her community. It’s a fascinating look at New England culture in the 18th century but also a riveting read.

Essay: Confessions of a Republican Exile.

I appreciated so many things in this essay by David Brooks about his move from his early days of socialism, to his time in the Republican party, to his newfound appreciation (and critique) of the Democratic party.

A New Approach to Parenting and Mental Health

October 10 was World Mental Health Day. The Surgeon General recently issued a warning about the mental health of parents—they’re stressed out about everything. The warning contains great suggestions for how every aspect of society can support parents and help alleviate the crisis. But there’s one crucial component missing. You can read here or watch here for more of my thoughts.

desk with a laptop and cup of coffee and an ipad. On the ipad screen is an image. The image shows a combination of a news article and Amy Julia addressing the camera in a split-screen format. The upper part displays a New York Times headline titled "Today's Parents: 'Exhausted, Burned Out and Perpetually Behind'" with a brief summary: "The surgeon general is warning about parents' stress, a sign that intensive parenting may have become too intense for parents.”

UPCOMING EVENTS

I’d love to work with you to create thoughtful teaching that best serves your community’s needs at your next event. Let’s talk!

Collage of photos of Amy Julia speaking in different settings with text overlay that says: Let’s talk about your next event; amyjuliabecker.com/speaking/

January 2025

March 2025

Trinity Christian College & Elim Christian School: Education and Disability

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